To the person that left me this on the train.
Um Thanks!? The fact that this is the only thing left in the seat leaves me with many questions:
- What is it? At first I thought it was a pickle, but luckily for me I had an hour to analyze it. At one point I was pretty sure that it was a jalapeno pepper but after about 30 minutes I realized that my vegetology knowledge was not up to speed and that I would never really discover the origin without extensive testing.
- Why is this the only sample? I can’t image that you were carrying this in your pocket and decided to leave this for generations to discover in the future(and by future I mean the next guy who rides this train). Which makes me think that you were eating something and picked this specimen off whatever it was you were eating. If that was the case thank you for not leaving all of your leftovers in the seat. On second thought F%$k you because if you had left the remnants of whatever the hell you were eating you wouldn’t have made me think about this for an hour!
- Where were you going? If I were eating this I can’t imagine what I would be on my way to doing. I’m guessing you were on your way downtown to make bums fight on video during a crystal meth fueled vision quest (I may be way off base on this one).
- How much respect do you have for your fellow man? I’m sure some people would see this and say “How Rude!” but I see this as an adventure and I feel very lucky! In fact I feel like an archeologist who just found something about ancient people and can only image what it was like to live in your time where it was fine to just leave weird genetically mutated organisms laying around