The Janovic Family

Um Thanks!? The fact that this is the only thing left in the seat leaves me with many questions:

1. What is it? At first I thought it was a pickle, but luckily for me I had an hour to analyze it. At one point I was pretty sure that it was a jalapeno pepper but after about 30 minutes I realized that my vegetology knowledge was not up to speed and that I would never really discover the origin without extensive testing.
2. Why is this the only sample? I can’t image that you were carrying this in your pocket and decided to leave this for generations to discover in the future(and by future I mean the next guy who rides this train). Which makes me think that you were eating something and picked this specimen off whatever it was you were eating. If that was the case thank you for not leaving all of your leftovers in the seat. On second thought F%$k you because if you had left the remnants of whatever the hell you were eating you wouldn’t have made me think about this for an hour!
3. Where were you going? If I were eating this I can’t imagine what I would be on my way to doing. I’m guessing you were on your way downtown to make bums fight on video during a crystal meth fueled vision quest (I may be way off base on this one).
4. How much respect do you have for your fellow man? I’m sure some people would see this and say “How Rude!” but I see this as an adventure and I feel very lucky! In fact I feel like an archeologist who just found something about ancient people and can only image what it was like to live in your time where it was fine to just leave weird genetically mutated organisms laying around

Dear Human,

Thanks for your letter.  Let me first start by saying I don’t kill these mice for you. Your human arrogance keeps you from seeing there are 9 people in this family. Out of them 5 of us really enjoy the mice.  That  puts you in the minority.  Yes I am a powerful hunter but everybody already knew that.  So here’s the deal you keep your mouth shut, keep feeding me, and clean my poop and nobody will get hurt!

Jango

Is it me? I was under the impression that a commercial was made so to sell you something.  I have seen 3 commercials now by Microsoft and I still not sure what I’m supposed to buy.  I’m talking about the ones with Jerry Sienfield and Bill Gates.  If you haven’t seen them they are all over the internet so go ahead and search for them.  Don’t get me wrong I got a small chuckle from one of them but really I don’t get it.  If you’re not telling me to buy something what is the point.  Maybe I’m missing the point maybe I’m supposed to by all Microsoft products.  I’m sure they are supposed to be a response to the Apple ad campaign but at least the apple ads are trying to sell you an Apple computer.  I get that.  Could this just be a response to that campaign becuase they have plenty of spare cash and can? 

What do you think?  Leave a comment below if you have an opinion.

So kids why are they so weird? I decided to finally break the news to the boyZZZ that I am going back to work full-time. If you consider 3 12 hour shifts a week full-time that is, anyway, they say back to me… “Why?”, When EXACTLY are you doing this mom?”.  I was as if someone was gravely ill. I suppose it should make me feel good that they had a slight panic attack, but seriously what the fuck? I want to work, so shut the fuck up!

Next, if you are going to do crack cocaine for days on end do not come to the hospital with our chest pain and expect me to be real sympathetic.  Just you know, maybe stop doing the crack.  

Finally, if the house you live in has a laundry chute, ummm try using it!  If clothes get taken off inside out, guess what that’s how it’s getting washed! If the domestic engineer finds money in the pockets, the money is now theirs!